My top ten ride-or-die sex toys

I have a lot of sex paraphernalia. Not as many, I admit, as a professional sex toy reviewer or some long-time sex workers, but my collection has shocked and/or awed more than a few who have seen it.

After writing a post last week about a toy I bought and didn’t end up liking, I started thinking about compiling a list of the ones I do like. So this week, I did.

These are the top ten favorites in my current collection (minus the ones you can’t buy anymore, of which there were more than expected), in no particular order.


1. Magic Wand

It seems like the Hitachi or the Magic Wand is on everyone’s list of favorites, and although I had a rocky beginning with the toy, I’m no exception now. The power one of these puppies can pack is out of this world. I can never not orgasm with a Magic Wand, and the orgasms it gives me are some of the best I’ve ever had.

It’s good for solo use. It’s good for partnered or group sex. It’s good for kink scenarios. It’s even good for sore muscles and headaches. As far as I’m concerned, it’s a blessing on humankind.

I strictly use the corded model, rather than the rechargeable one, because power cords usually mean more powerful vibrations that won’t weaken when the battery depletes. I also find remembering to charge my vibrators to be kind of a hassle. But supposedly, the rechargeable one works well too.

2. Wahl All Body Massager

Like the Magic Wand, the Wahl is a powerhouse that usually makes me come effortlessly and really, really strongly. The vibrations are more targeted with the Wahl, though, since the surface area of the head is about the size of a fingertip, unlike the tennis-ball-sized head of the Magic Wand.

It also comes with different heads you can attach to it, like one intended specifically for a scalp massage, but I only ever use the round, knobby one.

3. Pure Wand by njoy

This is the best G-spot toy I’ve ever used, hands down. The weight and hardness of the steel make for a hell of an experience. The few times I’ve managed to orgasm without any clitoral touch at all was when I was masturbating with the Pure Wand.

“Merciless” is the best way I can describe its ability to stimulate me. I don’t even really have to search for my G-spot, the way I do with other toys. The Pure Wand seems to find it on its own, to sink just far enough inside and rub exactly where I need it to.

I rely on circling or grinding motions with the Pure Wand, not so much thrusting. I also prefer the larger end, which is a more intense sensation than the smaller one.

4. Elden by Bad Dragon (size small, medium firmness, with a suction cup)

I don’t know what it is about Elden. It’s a smaller toy, especially for Bad Dragon, and the shape doesn’t seem particularly ground-breaking. But my god, when I clench around this thing as I come, the orgasms are so good. Something about the curve of the shaft and the position of the knot hits all the right spots.

The suction cup, which I paid extra for, is damn impressive too. Its staying power is beyond anything I’ve seen offered by more “traditional” brands. On a test, I once stuck all my Bad Dragon suction-cupped dildos to my apartment wall, and they stayed there on their own for weeks until I eventually took them down.

5. Mona 2 by Lelo

The Mona 2 by Lelo is another common favorite among sex toy enthusiasts. For me, what makes it significant is I can actually feel the toy’s vibrations against my G-spot when I use it. No other G-spot vibrator does that for me; usually the vibrations seem superfluous, and any G-spot pleasure I get comes from my movements and the toy’s natural shape.

It’s also a good clit vibrator, and strong enough to satisfy a power queen like me. I like to use it stimulate my G-spot until I want to come and then put it to my clit to bring me over the edge.

6. Share by Fun Factory

I would choose Fun Factory’s double-ended dildo over a traditional strap-on any day of the week. I like it so much better than the Feeldoe, too, which—along with most of Tantus’s toys, if I’m honest—is just too rigid for my tastes. It has a tendency to poke uncomfortably instead of moving with my body, like the Share does.

I love it as a solo toy too. I’ll insert the bulby end and then lube up and jack the other side like it’s an actual dick. I get a little thrill from the idea of jacking my dick, and the friction against my clit feels good.

That everyone else isn’t raving about this toy has always baffled me. I adore it!

7. Riding Crop

My favorite implement for impact play, hands down. Riding crops are usually on the stingy end of the pain spectrum, which is my preferred type from the receiving end, and the sound one makes as it cuts through the air is beautiful.

I will, true story, sometimes take out my riding crop when I’m alone in the house and just swing it a few times to hear it sing. I get such a visceral feeling of pleasure from that noise.

8. Clover Clamps

These are a classic for nipple play/torture enthusiasts, but they’re not for the inexperienced. They clamp tight and do not let go. As a masochist with sensitive nipples, I love them but only for short bursts.

And as a sadist, even just thinking about all the different ways to use them to their best effect makes my mouth water.

9. Clothespins

These are cheaper than clover clamps, easier to find, and great for all experience levels. Plus, they’re super versatile. Again, I like them on my nipples and like that I can leave them on longer than the clover clamps without getting overwhelmed by the intensity.

On the other side of the coin, I like that there are more of them and thus more options, not so much in terms of pain but aesthetics. Have you ever seen photos of clothespins lined up in a neat row along a person’s skin? Mmm. I love it.

Also, when I can’t find any of my usual food clips, or I run out, a quick trip to my toy box is a nice easy solution to the problem. 🙂

10. Black Dragon Gloves

Speaking of versatility, disposable gloves are great to have on hand for sexual purposes. You can use them for blood play (needles, scalpels, etc.), cleaner and safer manual penetration, and medical scenes.

I also use them for things like cleaning and cooking. I hate the sensation of unclean hands.

I was introduced to this brand at a dungeon my wife and I visited a few years ago. They’re good quality, and they’re available in latex or non-latex (nitrile).

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