I’ve decided that orgasms are impossible describe. I mean, really describe, without resorting to metaphor. To fully capture in words not just the physical aspects like muscle contractions, but how fucking good it feels to just close your eyes and come.

I’ve been trying for almost as long as I’ve been writing erotica, which has been…well, a long time. I throw in the towel every time, resorting to metaphor or just saying “character came” with the expectation that the reader will mentally fill in the rest using their own experiences.

And it’s a real shame. Especially because it means that now, when I want to blog about how much better my orgasms are during my period, I don’t really know how to be more specific. They just are.

I thought for a long time that it was because I was coming with something in my cunt, since when I’ve been menstrual I most often masturbated with a tampon or menstrual cup in, but I know now that’s not the case.

Since I’ve been on Yaz for the last few years, my periods have been lighter, more brownish discharge than bright red gushes. I have days where I wear nothing but a panty liner. Sometimes, during those days, I make myself come.

Like Friday. Partially inspired by my downstairs neighbor’s floor-pounding and focus-breaking music, I took a break from my freelance editing, unzipped my jeans, and rubbed one out. What was meant to be one, anyway. Just a brief distraction, a way of wiping my mind clean so I could try to get back to work.

I had about four orgasms instead, because once I started I had trouble stopping. It felt so good. They were so strong, in that indescribable way that orgasms are. I was at the very beginning of my period, which is the only possible reason I can point to for how good it was.

It was the same level of good as when, after a few long months of telling myself “no vibrators,” I give in and press my Hitachi to my vulva. It was so good I gasped, “Oh, god,” all the way through the aftershocks. It was so good I completely wrecked my neat low ponytail.

Why are period orgasms so strong? Am I the only one who experiences this?

A quick Google search says no. It’s something a lot of menstruating people report, apparently due to uterine contractions and the increased blood flow to the genitals.

I couldn’t even begin to describe what it feels like, though. Which is frustrating and a little weird. It makes me worry, in an “I know I’m being irrational, but” way, that it’s not real. That it’ll leave me someday.

Maybe not completely irrational, actually, since at some point I’ll be too old and infirm and, eventually, dead, for orgasms.

So I suppose I should stop trying to describe it and just, well, come. Yes?